My birthday

Yesterday was my natal day. I celebrated it by carrying the message of NA to the founder of one of the pioneering therapeutic community facilities in Southern Tagalog. I was glad because he agreed for us to start an NA meeting at his facility every Tuesday until such a time that his clients can conduct ot on their own. Afterwards, I spent the whole day in a trainor's training for a forthcoming workshop and symposium on family health and wellness. I wanted to go and attend a christmas party with my trekking buddies from high school but I felt tired and didn't relish the thought of going back to Makati through all the traffic and decided to stay home instead.
Today I attended our sunday NA meeting at the Coffee World at the Mall of Asia. This meeting is slowly but surely growing in number of attendees. We took possession of books sent by our Area Service Rep and planned our weekly service schedule for this coming week as well as our group's first Christmas party. There was a newcomer in today's meeting and he came from a facility in Masbate and found out about our meeting from MADAC. I was glad about that and glad at the progress in our group. That's all for now.

Baguio Alcoholics Anonymous Round-up

We had just concluded our 2nd Baguio AA round-up at the Pine breeze cottages in Baguio City yesterday Nov.30. A total of 61 AA and NA fellows from the Green minds Makati group, the New Manila group, MOA group, Lipa, Batangas group, Baguio group, and a strong Angeles contingent, as well as a few expats signed up. The theme was " of myself I am nothing". The highlight of the event was last Saturday's count down which was preceded by a string of speaker's meetings with an Alanon and Coda meeting on the side. The person with the Longest Sobriety was Woody E. from the Subic/ Castillejos/ Wahlawahla, Washington AA group with 29 years sober time. The newcomer with the least sobriety with 3 days was a newcomer from the Angeles group. All in all we had a great time of sharing our experience, strength and hope and how we worked our steps.

Working my 12 steps

Its been 11 years and 5 months now since I had my last drug and my last drink. During this past 2 years I have decided to work as a volunteer for a drug and alcohol rehab as a junior counselor. Lately I volunteered in my local NA community (Narcotics Anonymous Philippines) in its PR committee to spread the word of recovery in my region here in Southern Luzon. I have also undergone training in a solution focused brief therapy training to enhance my counseling skills. All this volunteer work I am doing is to help me stay clean and enables me to keep what blessings I have received in my recovery. I think at this point it is the single biggest thing aside from going to the meetings that has given me contentment, meaning and purpose to my life.
FRom my day 1 in recovery til now, I practiced my steps in stages, although not by my own design, although it would have done me better if I did work the 12 steps continuosly.
From day 1 to 3 months I worked the first 5 steps and the 12th step which was a requirement in the facility I came from. And I was glad because the first 3 steps are the backbone of my daily life which now includes the 9th and 10th step. The 9th step I only started to really practice consciously and with deliberate effort only 2 years after being clean. I sat down and wrote letters to people I had harmed and whom I thought would not be hurt further by my apologies. The 6th and 7th step, sadly I was only able to do 2 and a half years ago, something which I should have done right after my step 5. The eleventh step, religiously, only 2 years ago. I now feel and would like to think that I am a better person for being able to do regularly all of the 12 steps and not just step 1, 2 or 3.
At the end of this month I will be attending an AA round-up in Baguio City where I have been asked to speak on how I worked my steps 1 to 9. I am looking forward to going there and seeing my buddies in the fellowship, rest and share my recovery and have a nice time.

What's up?

Hi Everyone, I have started on my training for the Crisis Line Counseling at the In Touch Foundation in Makati City. After the classes, I will be required to do 96 hours of supervised volunteer work on their telephone crisis hotline and a final exam before I will be able to get my certificate as a phone counselor.
I also want to mention that I have also lost 4kgs from 74kgs to 70kgs since I started on my new program of snacking on fruits 2 months ago. I think that my weight has stabilized at 70kgs. I have also been more regular in doing my physical resistance training by doing complete mini workouts in my room, focusing on the upper body, back, stomach and leg muscles.
On the low side, my patience is constantly being tested by my 18 year old son by his behaviour of making a mess of our music room. With cigarette butts, alcoholic bottles, clothes, glasses and other stuff strewn all over the floor. Dirty dishes and utensils in the sink, food bags and wrappers not properly disposed and a dirty, stinking toilet. Sad to say, I acted out and broke the bottles and glasses on the floor. Afterwards, I sent him a text message and informed him in a calm manner what I had done and what made me angry. He responded by aplogizing and promised to clean it up. I also apologized to him for acting out. But that was not the last the incidents, which finally prompted me to get the key from him and revoke his and his friends' priveleges of using the music room as a hang-out. Anyway, I have been trying to be as calm and tolerant to him as possible and expressing my uncomfortablities to him in a healthy manner. Anyway I'll see what will be the results of his grades, he seems to be doing everything except read and study, although he tries never to be late or absent and looks interested in always going to school which is at least one positive sign. That's all for now. Eat healthy and stay fit everyone. God bless

Whats up with me

Hello Everyone, our family fun run was a financial and marketing success. Although with some technical race day problems, everyone had fun. From an initial target of 5000 participants, we had 5400 paid participants and an estimated 5800 runners on race day which included those that were unregistered because we ran out of race bibs.
A few months ago, I joined an H & I and PR (hospitals and institutions and public relations) workshop of NA (Narcotics Anonymous) to train interested volunteers who want to help carry the NA message of recovery. I later joined the PR group and for the past few weeks have been attending NA meetings at a facility in Tagaytay City where we introduced the step meeting.
I have also been attending NA meetings lately at Bagtikan street in Makati and the Sunday Mall of Asia meetings.
I am looking forward to joining the training for Crisis Line Counseling to be held September to November at the Trinity Church in Makati organized by the In Touch Foundation.
Lately my partner has gone abroad to work in one of the Gulf states and I have been left to look after the household chores by myself. Something that I am still adjusting to but so far coping with.
Thats all for now. Stay Fit and eat healthy everyone. God bless.

Sobriety Birthday

Yesterday I celebrated my 11th year of clean and sober time with an AA meeting in Mendez, Cavite chaired by Jim K. Also present in the large group was Ken an AA old-timer from the UK residing in the Cavite area. The group presented me with a birthday cake compliments of Jim which we promptly shared after the meeting.
During the meeting I shared that I continued to work all the steps in my program and attend meetings whenever possible as well as do 12 step work.
I had a nice and serene day which started with a great workout playing badminton at the nearby Matchplay court in Bacoor, Cavite. Presently I am training for a 16k foot race to be held on July 13 at the Fort Global City but the weather has not been so cooperative lately. Anyway, that's all for now. Stay clean and eat healthy everyone.

A great worldwide fellowship

...the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. Twelve steps and twelve traditions p.139
This third tradition of AA is one of my favorites. AA does not discriminate on age, gender, religion or lack of religion.
When I attended my first AA meeting, I saw young and old people, male and female, Caucasians and asians. We were brought together by our affliction and our desire to help ourselves and others. I grew in the program and in the fellowship on my own pace. Nobody judged me or forced me to do anything. All I had to do was sit and listen. And when the spirit moved me, I shared.
The AA fellowship continues to grow worldwide and the traditions are what binds us all together, no matter that each group is autonomous. It is the simplicity of the program that has made the fellowship and me spiritually and physically strong in the process of working my steps and following the traditions.

Drugging Dream

Its been a few years now since my last drug dream. I will be 11 years clean this july2nd and since then I have had 4 or 5 vivid drugging dreams. Early on in my recovery, in one of my first dreams, It seemed as if I had no recovery program at all. When a drugging friend came, I automatically closed all the windows to my room. Later on I remember, in one of my dreams, one of my counselors in rehab found me scraping off the residue of the cyrstal meth in the folded foils I used to keep hidden around my room. In my most recent dream, which occurred 2 nights ago, I was trying to manage my drugging by going on binges then stopping, trying to live a normal life trying to hide my drug use. In my dream, I woke up and realized that it had just been a dream. It all seemed so real and I was thinking, did I really do that? When did I do that? Then I realized I was still in a dream and then I woke up. I guess this was probably the sharing of this person who had been coming a few times to the NA meetings in Baguio. It seemed from this person's sharing that he was still hoping that somehow he could still manage his using but on the other side, the unmanageabilities were catching up to him and the desire to stop was becoming an attractive choice.
Yesterday, while I was buying notebooks for my son in SM, the thought of what it would be like to take a toke or two of weed suddenly struck me.
The drug dream plus the thought of the weed is all a reminder to me, that no matter that I have been clean for almost 11 years, the fact is I am an addict. I cannot forget that my addiction is a cunning disease waiting to resurface in one form or another. I cannot forget the hell and the lousy and pathetic life I had in my active addiction. I cannot compare and will not exchange the serenity and gratitude I have
for the simple and happy life I have now. I thank God and Jesus for my beautiful life. The blessings just keep coming, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly. So long as I follow His way, I have nothing to fear. Stay clean and fit everyone.

The Newcomer is the most important person

Hello Everyone. Our intervention was successful, the newcomer went with me and 2 other recovering addicts to the NA Unity Day in Angeles City, Pampanga last April 26. Our group, The Serenity at the Quarry, Baguio City group got the awards for having the person with the longest clean time of 16 years and for the person with the least clean time to attend the Unity days with 2 days, that being the newcomer we picked up the day before.
The following day, we all went up to the facility in Baguio where I proceeded to act as a monitor or buddy for that newcomer named Karen B. A monitor, usually a person with substantial clean time acts as a buddy and holds the monetary allowances of the newcomer for transportation fare, snacks, etc., while outside the facility. Because we are not a lock-up rehab, meaning we have no bars or orderlies or security guards to keep the clients from leaving, a monitor acts as a guide for 3 weeks to bring the newcomer client to and from the AA or NA meetings and other activities, like the gym held outside the rehab center.
Progress has been steady for my monitee Karen. We have done 2 big book readings, watched 2 recovery film showings plus the new Ironman movie starring Robert Downey,Jr., She has done 2 back to basic sessions wherein she has admitted to her powerlessness to her addiction and to alcoholism and thereby accomplishing the 1st step of our 12 step program, as well as taking step 2, 3 and 4. She has also done her autobiography and presented her timeline of the high and low points in her life. Her co-dependents have also attended 2 sessions of our required multi-family therapy sessions and lectures. She continues to keep a daily journal of her meetings and has shown honesty, openness and willingness, the 3 requisites for recovery.
During the more than 2 weeks I monitored Karen B., we have gone on 2 outings, once to the beach at Bauang, La Union and once to the Ambuklao Dam where we pondered whether to jump into the cold Dam water or not. We ended up just picnicking on our packed lunches. I have attached some photos of our Unity Day and outing together with this blog. Stay clean everyone.

Carrying the Message of Recovery

Last wednesday, a few of my recovering friends and I visited a girl in detox in the hopes of convincing her to voluntarily submit herself for treatment. We were successful in that her co-dependents have enrolled her in our 3 month intensive program.Tomorrow her co-dependents and we, her counselors heade by veteran facilitator and recovering alcoholic Vicente M.,will conduct an intervention with the identifed patient to encourage her to complete her treatment.
From the hospital, we will proceed to Angeles City where the Angeles NA group is hosting a Unity Day, then on Sunday we will motor to Baguio City to our facility. I will be doing volunteer work for about two weeks to monitor this new client so I may not be able to post until after I get back. Stay clean everyone.

Learning To Love Ourselves

Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us...We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or being dependent on others...We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence.
As Bill Sees It, p.252
At the height of my active addiction, I chose to isolate myself, having an intimate relationship with my dear friend Crystal, Crystal Meth. I would only go out to buy drugs or have pushers come and bring them to me, My life focused on the getting and using, and getting more, day in and day out. I shut out people who loved me, who at that time were angry because of what I was doing to myself and to those who loved me. And since they were angry at me, I didn't care to be with them and that was fine with them, it was better for them if I didn't bother or get myself into trouble. I was fortunate that my dad didn't give up on me, he felt that I was not really a bad person but someone who was lost. He found this rehab with a 12 step program of recovery. A program that helped me see what I had become and helped me regain my spirituality and taught me how to love and take care of myself. I liked the program of recovery that was introduced to me and I surrendered to it. Soon I regained my self-esteem, I realized that I was a worthy person and that I had much to contribute. I learned to love myself and in the process I learned how to love others too.

Relapse

Last night my wife Ros and I had a chance to bring back one of our new friends in recovery who relapsed. She was no longer a newcomer being 60 days clean but her sobriety was relatively fresh and here she had her first test. She went on a 5 day binge and when she was physically, emotionally and financially spent she called her cousin to pay for her cab fare then went to that cousin's house to crash. The mom in turn called me up. I asked if she was willing to return and she said yes. So we went to pick her up.
Although her face grew gaunt and bore the stress of sleepless nights, there were important lessons and realizations learned for her. That any lousy day in recovery is better than the best days in active using. That we all have choices and each choice has its own consequence. That self-will run riot has no place in recovery.
Her daughter's father decided to discontinue supporting her treatment and cut off all her financial support. And during her 5 day binge, no one of her drugging friends came to help her and none of her recovering friends rescued or enabled her, but now that she has returned, one by one, they are all signifying their support for her to continue treatment.
At first I was afraid to take her in most specially because these times our finances were low and this would disrupt the normal routine of our lives having a recovering addict in our house who will basically be detoxing for the next week or so. But this is where the faith and trust in my God kicks in. I know He will not let us down.

Self-Examination

...we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.
Alcoholics Anonymous, p.86
I believe in God, specially because I was brought up in a Catholic school. But I learned that believing is not enough. It has been said in the scriptures that faith without works or action is dead. Growing up, getting married, separated and divorced from my wife, all I knew was to pray for help to keep my children safe and healthy. However, I really never knew or realized the full extent of how God could help me face life or face my addiction.
The turning point in my recovery was when I admitted that I was powerless in dealing with my addiction and that I needed help. I then learned to believe that God could straighten out my life and then decided that I will let Him run my life.
In the beginning it wasn't easy since I was so used to my self-will, but with awareness and practice, I got the hang of it and practiced it daily and in all aspects of my life. As my clean time grew longer and I began learning the rest of the other steps, I began to ask Him help in removing my other character defects, specially those that I had so gotten used to, like anger, laziness, self-pity, and lust for women other than my wife. These I prayed for everynight for 2 years and occasionally up to now most specially when I realize that the enemy is attacking my mind. It is so easy for me to become complacent and relapse in my behaviour, I have to constantly be aware of my feelings and thoughts.
Lately I have been asking Him to guide me and asking what He wants me to do for Him and at the same time asking for guidance on things that I should do or shouldn't do. I also need to be aware if I have a hidden or other agendas for doing certain things. If these things will not glorify Him then I have to watch out and re-examine my motives.

Grateful recovering addict

Hello Everyone, my name is Mario, I am 55 years old and I have been clean and sober for 10 years and 9 months now. I was an active addict for 27 years of my life. I liked all kinds of drugs...pot, hash, uppers, downers, cough syrup with codeine, cigarettes laces with heroin, LSD, cocaine and crystal meth. I had not tried the drug ecstasy when I kicked my habit but I am sure I would have liked it too.
The recovery program that helped me stay clean is the 12 step program of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and NA (Narcotics Anonymous).
Today is sunday and I will resume my story later after I finish practicing my step 11 (Sought thru prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God).