Self-Examination

...we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.
Alcoholics Anonymous, p.86
I believe in God, specially because I was brought up in a Catholic school. But I learned that believing is not enough. It has been said in the scriptures that faith without works or action is dead. Growing up, getting married, separated and divorced from my wife, all I knew was to pray for help to keep my children safe and healthy. However, I really never knew or realized the full extent of how God could help me face life or face my addiction.
The turning point in my recovery was when I admitted that I was powerless in dealing with my addiction and that I needed help. I then learned to believe that God could straighten out my life and then decided that I will let Him run my life.
In the beginning it wasn't easy since I was so used to my self-will, but with awareness and practice, I got the hang of it and practiced it daily and in all aspects of my life. As my clean time grew longer and I began learning the rest of the other steps, I began to ask Him help in removing my other character defects, specially those that I had so gotten used to, like anger, laziness, self-pity, and lust for women other than my wife. These I prayed for everynight for 2 years and occasionally up to now most specially when I realize that the enemy is attacking my mind. It is so easy for me to become complacent and relapse in my behaviour, I have to constantly be aware of my feelings and thoughts.
Lately I have been asking Him to guide me and asking what He wants me to do for Him and at the same time asking for guidance on things that I should do or shouldn't do. I also need to be aware if I have a hidden or other agendas for doing certain things. If these things will not glorify Him then I have to watch out and re-examine my motives.