Learning To Love Ourselves

Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us...We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or being dependent on others...We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence.
As Bill Sees It, p.252
At the height of my active addiction, I chose to isolate myself, having an intimate relationship with my dear friend Crystal, Crystal Meth. I would only go out to buy drugs or have pushers come and bring them to me, My life focused on the getting and using, and getting more, day in and day out. I shut out people who loved me, who at that time were angry because of what I was doing to myself and to those who loved me. And since they were angry at me, I didn't care to be with them and that was fine with them, it was better for them if I didn't bother or get myself into trouble. I was fortunate that my dad didn't give up on me, he felt that I was not really a bad person but someone who was lost. He found this rehab with a 12 step program of recovery. A program that helped me see what I had become and helped me regain my spirituality and taught me how to love and take care of myself. I liked the program of recovery that was introduced to me and I surrendered to it. Soon I regained my self-esteem, I realized that I was a worthy person and that I had much to contribute. I learned to love myself and in the process I learned how to love others too.