Last wednesday, a few of my recovering friends and I visited a girl in detox in the hopes of convincing her to voluntarily submit herself for treatment. We were successful in that her co-dependents have enrolled her in our 3 month intensive program.Tomorrow her co-dependents and we, her counselors heade by veteran facilitator and recovering alcoholic Vicente M.,will conduct an intervention with the identifed patient to encourage her to complete her treatment.
From the hospital, we will proceed to Angeles City where the Angeles NA group is hosting a Unity Day, then on Sunday we will motor to Baguio City to our facility. I will be doing volunteer work for about two weeks to monitor this new client so I may not be able to post until after I get back. Stay clean everyone.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Learning To Love Ourselves
Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us...We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or being dependent on others...We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence.
As Bill Sees It, p.252
At the height of my active addiction, I chose to isolate myself, having an intimate relationship with my dear friend Crystal, Crystal Meth. I would only go out to buy drugs or have pushers come and bring them to me, My life focused on the getting and using, and getting more, day in and day out. I shut out people who loved me, who at that time were angry because of what I was doing to myself and to those who loved me. And since they were angry at me, I didn't care to be with them and that was fine with them, it was better for them if I didn't bother or get myself into trouble. I was fortunate that my dad didn't give up on me, he felt that I was not really a bad person but someone who was lost. He found this rehab with a 12 step program of recovery. A program that helped me see what I had become and helped me regain my spirituality and taught me how to love and take care of myself. I liked the program of recovery that was introduced to me and I surrendered to it. Soon I regained my self-esteem, I realized that I was a worthy person and that I had much to contribute. I learned to love myself and in the process I learned how to love others too.
As Bill Sees It, p.252
At the height of my active addiction, I chose to isolate myself, having an intimate relationship with my dear friend Crystal, Crystal Meth. I would only go out to buy drugs or have pushers come and bring them to me, My life focused on the getting and using, and getting more, day in and day out. I shut out people who loved me, who at that time were angry because of what I was doing to myself and to those who loved me. And since they were angry at me, I didn't care to be with them and that was fine with them, it was better for them if I didn't bother or get myself into trouble. I was fortunate that my dad didn't give up on me, he felt that I was not really a bad person but someone who was lost. He found this rehab with a 12 step program of recovery. A program that helped me see what I had become and helped me regain my spirituality and taught me how to love and take care of myself. I liked the program of recovery that was introduced to me and I surrendered to it. Soon I regained my self-esteem, I realized that I was a worthy person and that I had much to contribute. I learned to love myself and in the process I learned how to love others too.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Relapse
Last night my wife Ros and I had a chance to bring back one of our new friends in recovery who relapsed. She was no longer a newcomer being 60 days clean but her sobriety was relatively fresh and here she had her first test. She went on a 5 day binge and when she was physically, emotionally and financially spent she called her cousin to pay for her cab fare then went to that cousin's house to crash. The mom in turn called me up. I asked if she was willing to return and she said yes. So we went to pick her up.
Although her face grew gaunt and bore the stress of sleepless nights, there were important lessons and realizations learned for her. That any lousy day in recovery is better than the best days in active using. That we all have choices and each choice has its own consequence. That self-will run riot has no place in recovery.
Her daughter's father decided to discontinue supporting her treatment and cut off all her financial support. And during her 5 day binge, no one of her drugging friends came to help her and none of her recovering friends rescued or enabled her, but now that she has returned, one by one, they are all signifying their support for her to continue treatment.
At first I was afraid to take her in most specially because these times our finances were low and this would disrupt the normal routine of our lives having a recovering addict in our house who will basically be detoxing for the next week or so. But this is where the faith and trust in my God kicks in. I know He will not let us down.
Although her face grew gaunt and bore the stress of sleepless nights, there were important lessons and realizations learned for her. That any lousy day in recovery is better than the best days in active using. That we all have choices and each choice has its own consequence. That self-will run riot has no place in recovery.
Her daughter's father decided to discontinue supporting her treatment and cut off all her financial support. And during her 5 day binge, no one of her drugging friends came to help her and none of her recovering friends rescued or enabled her, but now that she has returned, one by one, they are all signifying their support for her to continue treatment.
At first I was afraid to take her in most specially because these times our finances were low and this would disrupt the normal routine of our lives having a recovering addict in our house who will basically be detoxing for the next week or so. But this is where the faith and trust in my God kicks in. I know He will not let us down.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Self-Examination
...we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.
Alcoholics Anonymous, p.86
I believe in God, specially because I was brought up in a Catholic school. But I learned that believing is not enough. It has been said in the scriptures that faith without works or action is dead. Growing up, getting married, separated and divorced from my wife, all I knew was to pray for help to keep my children safe and healthy. However, I really never knew or realized the full extent of how God could help me face life or face my addiction.
The turning point in my recovery was when I admitted that I was powerless in dealing with my addiction and that I needed help. I then learned to believe that God could straighten out my life and then decided that I will let Him run my life.
In the beginning it wasn't easy since I was so used to my self-will, but with awareness and practice, I got the hang of it and practiced it daily and in all aspects of my life. As my clean time grew longer and I began learning the rest of the other steps, I began to ask Him help in removing my other character defects, specially those that I had so gotten used to, like anger, laziness, self-pity, and lust for women other than my wife. These I prayed for everynight for 2 years and occasionally up to now most specially when I realize that the enemy is attacking my mind. It is so easy for me to become complacent and relapse in my behaviour, I have to constantly be aware of my feelings and thoughts.
Lately I have been asking Him to guide me and asking what He wants me to do for Him and at the same time asking for guidance on things that I should do or shouldn't do. I also need to be aware if I have a hidden or other agendas for doing certain things. If these things will not glorify Him then I have to watch out and re-examine my motives.
Alcoholics Anonymous, p.86
I believe in God, specially because I was brought up in a Catholic school. But I learned that believing is not enough. It has been said in the scriptures that faith without works or action is dead. Growing up, getting married, separated and divorced from my wife, all I knew was to pray for help to keep my children safe and healthy. However, I really never knew or realized the full extent of how God could help me face life or face my addiction.
The turning point in my recovery was when I admitted that I was powerless in dealing with my addiction and that I needed help. I then learned to believe that God could straighten out my life and then decided that I will let Him run my life.
In the beginning it wasn't easy since I was so used to my self-will, but with awareness and practice, I got the hang of it and practiced it daily and in all aspects of my life. As my clean time grew longer and I began learning the rest of the other steps, I began to ask Him help in removing my other character defects, specially those that I had so gotten used to, like anger, laziness, self-pity, and lust for women other than my wife. These I prayed for everynight for 2 years and occasionally up to now most specially when I realize that the enemy is attacking my mind. It is so easy for me to become complacent and relapse in my behaviour, I have to constantly be aware of my feelings and thoughts.
Lately I have been asking Him to guide me and asking what He wants me to do for Him and at the same time asking for guidance on things that I should do or shouldn't do. I also need to be aware if I have a hidden or other agendas for doing certain things. If these things will not glorify Him then I have to watch out and re-examine my motives.
Grateful recovering addict
Hello Everyone, my name is Mario, I am 55 years old and I have been clean and sober for 10 years and 9 months now. I was an active addict for 27 years of my life. I liked all kinds of drugs...pot, hash, uppers, downers, cough syrup with codeine, cigarettes laces with heroin, LSD, cocaine and crystal meth. I had not tried the drug ecstasy when I kicked my habit but I am sure I would have liked it too.
The recovery program that helped me stay clean is the 12 step program of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and NA (Narcotics Anonymous).
Today is sunday and I will resume my story later after I finish practicing my step 11 (Sought thru prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God).
The recovery program that helped me stay clean is the 12 step program of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and NA (Narcotics Anonymous).
Today is sunday and I will resume my story later after I finish practicing my step 11 (Sought thru prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God).
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